Category Archives: Gnomes

Gnomes on the Matterhorn

Last Friday, November 12, a pair of my best friends came over to my house and engaged in a live Gnome Wars battle. I provided the terrain and some specialty figures (5 Yetis and the Abominable Snowman). My friend Kevin Sarnowski provided everything else, breaking out some of his colorfully painted gnomes.

This battle saw an allied contingent of German and Irish gnomes assaulting an old castle and its attached brewery, with the goal of capturing a beer truck and escaping with some finely crafted pilsner. The castle & brewery were defended by a much smaller garrison of Swiss gnomes.

The initial advance of the Germans and Irish. Onwards towards the beer!

There were several unusual events that occurred as part of this scenario. Two of these events were targeted to help the Swiss defenders. One was the appearance of Santa, who showed up a couple of times, gifting the Swiss by expertly manning their cannon atop the castle walls, and also restoring life to several fallen gnome soldiers. The other event was the arrival of a band of wild Yetis, who added a terrifying amount of flesh-rending muscle to the defending force.

Swiss gnomes defending the Brewery and transport trucks.

The other events were wildcards that could help or hurt either side. The first of these events was the arrival of the Abominable Snowman, who emerged out of the snowy pine forest and promptly breathed his frost-breath on a German machine-gun crew, killing them all. Luckily for the Germans, a large unit of nearby riflemen blasted the Abominable Snowman at close range, taking the massive monster down. It was a surprise success, but it did tie up the Germans for a bit and slowed their advance towards the castle.

The second event was the appearance of some Evil Snowmen mercenaries, who also ended up joining the Swiss side. Shortly after their arrival, they took out a German Light Mortar with some carefully hurled ice balls.

Kevin Sarnowski (left) & Wally Wenklar (right), old friends and core members of our Harrisburg Hacking Hobgoblins tabletop wargaming group.

Everything seemed to be going in the Swiss army’s favor. The advancing allies were getting hammered by Swiss cannons and blunderbusses as they trudged across the open expanse that led to the castle gate.

Eventually, a large group of Irish gnomes, armed with shillelagh, burst through the gate and into the castle’s courtyard. They showed courage and bashed some Swiss heads, but it was one of the few bright spots in an otherwise dreary & cold day for the allies.

Neither the flanking Irish Wolfhound cavalry or the German rifles & beer-stein grenadiers could reach the brewery. In a stroke of gnomish surprise, Swiss Cheese sprayers hidden within the castle tower, sprayed the outflanking Germans with thick, sticky swiss cheese, totally bogging down their advance. Eventually, the allied army broke and scattered from the battlefield. The proud Swiss, aided by Santa and some monstrous allies, had won the day. No Swiss beer would be stolen on this day!

Check out the slideshow below for more pictures from Friday’s fun.

At some point, my friend Kevin is planning to post his photos and commentary on his personal blog called Spoils of Wargames. Go check it out. He really loves his gnomes!

Also, visit the Gnome Wars Facebook page for more information about the game.